Hormones get blamed for a lot of things especialy in my house. Having two teenage daughters and a perimenopasal woman living in the same house makes it a very rare day when life is calm as someone is always having a crissis of some kind which is fueled by hormones . I spend alot of my time now a days telling my daughters the reason they feel the way they do is hormones and not to worry it will pass.They usually answer me by " STOP SAYING ITS MY HORMONES " and "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND "
But I do understand because while they are facing the puberty years, I'm in the perimenopausal years or [ puberty in reverse ] I wander if thats why we fear it so much as puberty was so bad we don't want to go through it again.
I wish I had someone like my daughters have me to put there arm round me and say " ITS YOUR HORMONES IT WILL PASS "
While doing my reserch on the change as the older genaration call it one of the biggest mistakes we make is calling it the menopause when in fact you spent more time perimenopausal. Menopausal is the time when you have been a year with out a period. Perimenopause is the part were all the dreadful things start happening to you that your mother warned you about or not as the case seems to be.Past generations seem to not want to discuss it hence why so many women don't understand whats happening to them. I would like to think we are the generation thats going to make it as normal to talk about the menopause as we talk about puberty. Hot sweats , anxiety, trouble sleeping oh! and why you want to stab everyone feeling let us be the ones to tell our daughters so they don't go through the menopause years feeling like they are crazy women and life is over .
I remember being 14 years old when I heard the word menopause, I was off school sick and my mum was on the phone to a friend about how she hadn't had a period in a couple of months and thought she was pregnant, my mum was 38 at the time and that's what made her go to the doctors as her friend had told her it could be the menopause.
The doctor told her she wasn't pregnant but also told her she wasn't starting the menopause even though she had a lot of the symptoms she had been suffering with nightsweats and bad moodswings she was so tired and very snappy oh and the big tell the no period, the doctor told her she was to young and it was probably stress. A few days later her period returned. Over the next few months she had irregual periods and her hot sweats came on day and night she complained about restless legs at night and just could't sleep which made the moodswings worse. I remember not wanting to come home from school as all she did was shout at us.
My dad also found it hard, He was a very laid back man he was the one we always went to with our problems as my mum was always the firery parent. How they stayed married I don't know.
There was a day were he did lose it. My mum was ironing at the time I think it was a tea towel. Mum started shouting at my dad about something, he said he couldn't take it anymore she said something back, next thing he had the tea towel in his hand and was going to hit her with it, I remember thinking hit her dad, hit her we all had had enough. My dad didn't hit her he just grabed his van keys and went for a drive. That was the incident that made her go back to the doctors.
The doctor gave her hormone tablets [ hormone tablets with out a hormone test ] this made things worse. Her moodswings didn't improve but the hot sweats become less, then the anxiety and panic attacks started they were so bad she had to give up work and could no longer go in to town or be in a social situation,she also complained about her joint's hurting all the time. She took herself off the hormones, when she told the doctor he told her the symptoms were all in her head because she didn't want to take the hormones. He was right in one way she didn't like the idea of hormones. My mum is 69 and still to this day doesn't take medication. But he was so wrong about the symptons, when she stopped taking the hormones the joint aching stopped and so did the panic attacks, she still suffered with anxiety and it took her awhile to become as sociable as she had been, she did return to work but cut her hours down. The hot flushes still happened she said she could deal with them over all the other things the hormones caused.
By the time my mum was 42 her periods stopped and she only got symptoms around the time she woud have had a period. My mum was early when she started the perimenopaue and went though 4 years of hell but I wonder if it would have been easier if she had been more prepared by having more knowledge about the menopause.
She did ask my nanna if she had found it hard and my nanna told her she hadn't experienced anything like that , my mum said instead of her mum making her feel better about what she was going thought she infact made her feel weak and basically told her to man up.
Seeing my mum go though all that you can imagine I’ve been dreading it happening to me, I read some where you can follow the pattern of your mother .
At 38 I started having hot flushes the first one I had to sit on the kitchen step to get some fresh air,the only way I could discribe it was like when your milk comes in after having a baby. My periods never changed but the time of the month symptoms got worse one month i'd cry at anything the next i wanted to jump out a window just to get away from everyone,the week before I got my period I couldn’t sleep and my husband just breathing annoyed me I thought this is it .
For the last couple of years the hot flushes disapeared I still have moodswings but not as bad , I haven't had to take myself for a walk round the block in a while. A few months ago my periods became irregular it started with a couple of weeks late then 7 then a week early I have no pattern the hot flushes are back along with night sweats I'm awake at 3am every morning turning my pillows over looking for a cold spot , legs out the covers legs in , They start at 9pm but the 3am ones are the worst . I'm 45 so older than when my mum was when she finished so not following my mum .
I've decided to start the year by keeping a perimenopause journey journal so my daughters want go through this big change in there later lives alone, also I'm going to try out diffrent remedies to help the symptoms I'm hoping I can cope by not seeking medical help I want to get though it the natural way.
Please follow my journey I'm going to do a monthly blog about what I've tried and how I'm feeling and also share information I discover on the way. Please get in touch as i would love to hear about other peoples experieces or advice, Lets be the generation that changes the way we see the menopause .