OVERWHELMED AND UNDERPRESSURE EXAMS AREN'T WORTH IT

Happy half term hope the first one of the school year has been a good one.

A new school year has started and after the summer holidays it was a great relief to have life go back to normal with both my girls back at school. As much as the summer holidays were stressful its going to be nothing compared to this school year, as its my eldest daughters final one, and we are only a term in and exam pressure is already paying a toll on her. In the first week of returning to school we had to attend a year 11 revision evening which a teacher from every subject stood up and told us what was expected of our sons and daughters when preparing for their GCSEs. There is no wonder our teens today are so stressed out, I was overwhelmed myself by the amount of work they are expected to do. Every teacher broke down what was needed and every teacher kept saying "Revision has to start now " half an hour every night, along with revision lessons before school, lunch times and after school, along with home work that was being set. My daughter is in all the highest sets but it doesn't come easy for her and has to put in the work to get the grades, I know listening to a lot of parents that many need that push, but what about the ones that already put to much pressure on themselves and the pressure from school is making exams more stressful. My daughter is so well organised, she's been writing revision notes and charts for over a year, each subject is colour coded and in separate files, even her revision time table is colour coded pinned over her desk in her room. But nothing prepares you for all the anxiety and stress these exams course .

Like I said we are only one term in to the school year and every night after school is a night of melt downs from my daughter; In her own words she said "I can't do it there are nine lessons to revise for and only 7 days in the week . " I've always told her to vent her anger and frustrations and not hold on to them, which she is great at doing but it's hard on me as I have become her punching bag for every emotion she is feeling, I try to give her a solutions, then she finds negativity in every answer I give her and we go around like that in circles till one of us walks off. I know these shouting matches we have every night are not in vain as she has taken on board a lot of what I've advised her to do, Like talk to her teachers about extra help, If she has a revision lesson at school tick it of her revision to do list so she doesn't do it at home, and have a cut off time, she now tells me when she wants to stop revising by making me put a timer on my phone so I go in her room and get her to stop and chill.

The main pressure is from the high grates the school's want the student to get as schools now a days are ran as businesses' it's all to do with how much progress your child's made to how teachers are payed. I know from my own experience with my daughter she has found the predictive grade system really hard to get her head round being told what grade you are likely to get at year 11 when your in year 7 is extremely off putting. Going back to the year 11 revision evening I found the school focused more on the higher grade students, we were shown a video of the student's who had left from the year before with there exam results, there wasn't one with a grade lower than a level 8. Is it right to expect every student to receive grades of 8's and 9's when students getting grade 5's will still get to do the same collage courses as 8 and 9 grade students ? I am all for aiming high but the pressure put on teenagers today to get these high grades isn't worth the risk of our young peoples mental health. We all want our children to do well and get to go to collage so they can get a fantastic job, but we also know it's not as easy as passing some exams, how many people do you know with degrees that work behind a bar, in a supermarket or worse no job at all. I want my girls to do well academically but my main priority is they get though their school years unscarred, mental health is really big news at the moment a lot of courses for mental health issues stem from our childhoods and teen years . Mental health problems are rising in teenagers and exam pressure is part of the problem, exams are important but are they more important than our children's health? After a few years exam results mean nothing but the scars they leave on your mental wellbeing stay with you forever.

TIPS TO HELP WITH EXAM PRESSURE

1. TIME MANAGEMENT: Having a happy medium between work, rest ,and fun having a

time limit on revising, having a time table is great but its not written in stone so if something comes up it's not he end of the world that you haven't followed it to the very second.

2. MAKE THE MOST OF THE SCHOOL RESORCES: Use the revision classes before, lunch time and after school, tick it off your to do list when you get home , also the teacher's are there to help you, as I said before the schools are ran as a business and you are like a customer or client they need you to do well to make them look good .

3. SELF-CARE: Don't forget about you, find time to do things just for you it can be as simple as a bubble bath or watching Netflix with a big bag of crisps. And don't forget to hang out with friends leaving your room its a big one.

My daughter on one of her big melt down days said " I don't have a happy place to go" she dreading going to school but also hated home as her bed room was where school carried on, the part of the day she did enjoy was the walk from school as it ment school was over for the day but the minute she walked into her bedroom school life started again . This is why its so important to escape for a bit and remember there is more to life than exams .

PARENT TIPS

1. CHECK IN WITH YOUR KID : Ask about their day ( yes I know they are teenagers ) but when you stop asking how they are they think they are alone, they may surprise you and actual open up to you. Venting their anger and frustrations is half the battle you'll feel your talking to a brick wall most of the time but it's surprising how much of your advice they really take on board, just not when you are actually giving the advice.

2. HELP WITH A REVISION PLAN : Put a timer on your phone so you can get them to take a break, making sure they eat and drink, have snacks ready for them for quickness but sitting as a family round a table and having a meal is a great distraction from work.

3. MAKE SURE THEY LEAVE THEIR ROOMS: This is a really important one and the hardest one for a parent but a none school environment is so important to be able to switch off. Just like some of us with our jobs we don't know how to clock off as we can be reached at home though our phones and computers so having a break from divides is a must especially with these school homework apps.

I know the coming months are going to be stressful and finding any kind of zen in my house of hormones is going to be hard but all I can do is be there for my daughter and try and protect her mental wellbeing.

MEDITATION FOR TEENS

Next month I'm putting together some meditation techniques for teens to help with exam pressure and overall life as a teen and explain how meditation is a great tool for us all in a number of situations in life.